Read these 7 Grieving Tips tips to make your life smarter, better, faster and wiser. Each tip is approved by our Editors and created by expert writers so great we call them Gurus. LifeTips is the place to go when you need to know about Funeral tips and hundreds of other topics.
SHOCK NUMBNESS (very high 1st and 2nd week)
This is the first stage of grief. Some feelings often felt in this stage are disbelief, denial, anger, and guild. You may find yourself or your loved ones crying, loss of appetite, limited concentration, sleep disturbances, feeling emotionally “drained”, searching for answers to why and having emotional outbursts. You may choose to be on a sedative such as Valium during this time.
REORGANIZATION (takes 18 to 24 months to stabilize)
This is the last step of the grieving process. You will begin to feel a sense of relief, renewed hope, peace, acceptance, and no longer are “obsessed” with death. You will regain your judgment making, interests in goals and your future, renewed energy, and normal eating and sleeping habits. This is the stage when you finally begin to accept what happened. Keep in mind that on significant days, like birthdays and death anniversary, you will experience a peak of all four stages. But, the time will pass, and you will begin to smile again.
Use the loved one's name when you speak of them. After you lose someone it is devastating. What is even more devastating is when people act as if things are no different. If you knew the person who passed away, speak of some enduring qualities they had. This helps the family by showing them that others remember their loved one as well as they do. Don't be afraid to bring them up in conversation. We need to speak of the departed to make the memory live on brighter.
When experiencing a loss, it is natural that many people might suffer one or more of the following:
- Tightness in the throat or heaviness in the chest
- Thumping, erratic heart beats and very aware of all heart actions
- Empty feelings inside your stomach and loss or gain in appetite
- Have pain or nausea in your stomach
- Feeling restless and looking for activity
-Feel as if you are “zoning” in and out
- Feel as though the loss isn't real, that it didn't really happen, this is just a bad dream
- Feel dizzy or light headed often
- Seeing or feeling the presence of the person you lost, hearing their laughter or their crying, seeing their faces
-Starting but not following through with things
-Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much
-Dreams of the loved one
-Feeling guilty or angry over what happened, that it was them and not you
SEARCHING AND YEARNING (2 wks to 4 wks)
This is the second stage of the grieving process. Some emotions that are experienced during this stage are despair, depression, over-sensitivity, apathy, guilt, anger, hopelessness, and self-doubt. You may find yourself crying, restless, unable to concentrate, impatient, isolating yourself, angry, loss of energy, poor memory, and feeling yourself asking “What is real?” It is very important to talk to others about how you feel during this time. You cannot get through the mourning process alone.
DISORIENTATION (peaks highly 4 to 7 months)
The third stage of the grief process is the last stage before you begin to heal. You may feel great depression, disorganization, guilt, and that you will forever be grieving. Physically, you may become irritable, restless, act as if nothing happened, or hesitate in reaching out to others. You may start to really examine life and death in this stage of grieving and may question your own mortality.
|Sheri Ann Richerson|