Welcome to Funeral Tips

Light A Candle

Light a candle on the day you celebrate Christmas in memory of your child. Keep it lit throughout the day. This is a very special and subtle way to remember your child. It is also a wonderful way to relax, personally, on a very stressful and sometimes very sad day.

Donate to A Research or Support Organization

There are many organizations geared to SIDS, miscarriage, stillbirth, and other forms of infant death. Donate to one of these wonderful and helpful organizations in the name of your child. With your donations, you will help other parents get information and support in the future.

Become a Peer Parent

A wonderful way to not only memorialize your child, but help other grieving parents is to become a peer parent. Contact your local hospitals, clinics, and Department of Public Heath. Explain your personal story to them. Tell they you would like your name and number given to doctors, nurses, social workers, etc. and would like to be contacted if you can help in any way. A Friend says; "When my son died, I felt terribly alone. Not only are you helping someone, but also your child is having a positive impact on someone."

Traditions

The birthdays, or estimated date of birth, will generally be a difficult day. Especially the first since the death of your child. You can set special traditions to remember your child. The traditions allow you to celebrate your child and keep a very special role in you and your family's lives.

Memory Box

A small trunk can make a great Memory Box of your deceased child. Stencil the child´s name along with teddy bears, trains, etc. Inside you can place photos, a favorite toy or blanket, the baby book, hospital ID bracelet, school report-cards, child´s drawings, sympathy cards from the funeral, birth certificate, and other special mementos

Framed Photo

If you have a special photo or sonogram print out, get it specially framed and display it in a special area of your home. A Friend says: "For me, it symbolized my son watching over our home. I also had a very special Native American verse placed in the frame. It is the verse that helped me the most during my grief".

Special Garden or Tree

One memorial to a loved one is to plant a flowering tree; place a white fence around it and build a cross inside the fence with the full name on the cross. This can be a very beautiful tribute.

Buy a Memorial Light

Many hospitals have memorial trees during the holiday season. These are trees made of a metal frame and the “tree” appears in lights. Buy a light in memory of your child at Christmas time. Most funds go to a charity or to improvements at the medical facility.

Visit Your Child´s Resting Spot

If you had your child buried, you may choose to bring your family to the cemetery and each take a few moments with him/her; take a cupcake with a candle and sing “Happy Birthday”; also buy a small weather-safe gift to place at the child´s head stone until winter. When winter comes, place the gift into a memorial trunk.

Small Birthday Party with Family

It may seem odd to people who have not suffered the loss of a child to continue on remembering the child's birthday. If you and your immediate family feel comfortable with it, have a small birthday “party” with supper. Get your family together, have a special dinner and birthday cake with ice cream for dessert.

A Special Stocking or Ornament

Buy a special Christmas stocking or tree ornament and place your child's name on it. Every year put it with your family stockings (or on the tree) and include your lost loved one in your Christmas celebration. It is wonderful having something year after year that reminds you and your family of the special angel you have in your lives.

Birthday Figurines

A way to memorialize your child year after year is find figurines and collectibles with the numbers of their age and place them in a special spot. If you cannot find figurines, craft stores sell figurines you can paint yourself.

Donate a Toy to a Needy Child

Most towns and cities have programs for Christmas time like the Toys for Tots program for needy children. A Friend says: "Every year, I find a boy that is Zachary's age and purchase a gift in memory of Zachary. It makes me feel great. Not only am I remembering my son in a very thoughtful way, I am also helping to make a child's Christmas brighter."

Moment of Silence

Christmas can be a very hard time of the year after the death of a loved one; it is a little less painful as the years pass. You can decorate the gravesite with flowers or a wreath, then observe a moment silence or prayer by yourself or with family/friend.

A Special Locket

Buy a special locket and engrave it with your loved one´s name, birthdate, or date of death. Place a photo of him/her inside, if possible. Wear this all the time to keep your loved one with you.

Newspaper Remembrance

Place a special poem with or without a photo in the local newspaper in memory of your child's birthday. I have used the same verse each year. Your newspaper office may have a book of sentiments for you to choose from.

Buy A Newborn or New Mom A Gift

Another tradition you can set is giving a new mother or newborn baby a gift. A Friend says, "On Zachary's birthday, I call our local hospital to see if any baby's were born. If there were, I send flowers or a baby gift basket. If there were more than one baby born, I send it to the first baby born but send cards to all the other families. If no babies were born that day, I wait until the first one after the day is born and send it to them."