April 9, 2004, Newsletter Issue #62: top 10 things / loss or funeral 3 of 3

Tip of the Week

7) How is the `purchase` going to be paid for? If you have funding in place (at your local bank, death on demand account) with money budgeted for this expense, are you sure it is within a reasonable amount? Or insurance, has it been reviewed lately to see if the beneficiary, amount or details are correct? (You do NOT want to make the funeral home the FULL beneficiary). In many cases, the burdens of arranging a funeral are heavy; heavy emotionally and financially - more so if unplanned. Granted, this ` making funeral arrangements` is scary terrain, but it`ll make things a lot less traumatic for your survivors if they feel organized. If you do place funds in a bank, or lock box, make sure you tell others where the key to your safe deposit box and which bank it`s with. (Or where any stashed funds are). The same with your will, and funeral arrangements you have planned - make sure others whom you trust know all the details of where, who, etc. Reduce it all to paper, and let others know.
funeral arrangement planning chart


8) Do you have young ones? What will happen to them, who will you trust to raise them? A head of time, have you had a talk explaining death to children, and asking them `in the event` is this family (who would continue to raise you)acceptable to you? Has the idea of asking your family which type of funeral arrangement they would want too - been reduced to writing as well? A Green funeral has been the newest upandcoming pre planned funeral. A traditional funeral is funeral director `talk`, you need to know, they are `arranged` any way the family feels is best. Make the family part of your planning. In fact, any type of a service is not required, Annn Landers didn`t even have one. Or, non-religious services are an option as well. You do not have to have a service, at anywhere, funeral home or use of a church building. Non-religious ceremonies and self orchestrated events are becoming more popular and the use of music and readings can often make the occasion very moving. (This above one choice is hard to write, as I feel one needs to know full well the consequences of no religion) Did you also know about body donation - the ashes are returned to the family at a later date, as well? Make your family aware of your choices in this important matter. Did you WANT embalming and an open casket viewing? The first question asked after death is that, (from a provider) so it should be made well known what your choices are concerning it. (As mentioned prior newsletter, embalming is not required in most cases if no viewing - and the hospital can keep the body in a refrigeration unit for a few days until arrangements are made.) If death is in a hospital room, the family can be called there for a last good-bye. If a death in a home, a call to arrange for pick up of the body is usually in the first calls as well. Do not feel that this has to take place immediately; some families wish to wait until other family members have arrived in order to say their goodbyes at home. If the person is at a nursing home, well ahead of time, they should have asked whom to call when a death may happen. Don`t answer that question lightly. Have done your homework first please. One can move a body after a funeral home does a pick up, however it is less stressful if there are no `conflicts` at the start, as the above procedure is likely to have been carried out, with your sign-in permission, by the Matron or other at the nursing home, before they call you.

9) In gathering all of this information, to have handy in one place, be sure to add: (brief outline of your obit)
# Name of next of kin, who will be supplying some of the below information.
# They say there are 87 things needed to do upon a death,
Perhaps not, but it still needs a check list to your details. As a start.....
#List of people to call to inform the death. (Delegate this)
# Full name of the deceased
# The deceased`s date and place of death
# The deceased`s home address
# The deceased`s date and place of birth
# The date of birth of a surviving spouse
# The deceased`s maiden name, if applicable
# The deceased`s former occupation, where relevant
# If married, date of birth of surviving husband or wife
# Name and address of informant
# Informant`s qualification for registering

And some other resources resources.html

10)Here, the list of 10 things, and #10, isn`t going to be
"Take it slow." Instead, take action, figure out a budget that works for your needs. You have already assembled the important documents, now reduce to writing, your choice providers as well, agreements (if any)prices and details. After the funeral, then is the time for the family to take things slow in making other choices. The headstone, or memorialization arrangements can be purchased months later.
But, shouldn`t you have suggested the saying on that monument? Your choice in location of burial, and type, should be all detailed in this checklist. It is our experience that putting ones wishes in writing is not only therapeutic, but does assist and offer help for the survivors when death does occur. One thing to remember, `in the olden days` funerals always used to be held at the home,(using dry ice, not embalming) and the family did everything. Some states they still do! However, in most instances, the house may have changed for the event, but the family can and should still be in charge, and `direct` the funeral arrangements and make the choices. DO IT TODAY!



1) Have a will drawn up, or update your prior one
2) Get your house in order now, find all banks used,
3)Plan what you would like for your funeral, and find out what your spouse would like as well
4) Know how many death certificates you will need.
5) Have a list of numbers, resources, and contacts for filing life and or health (disability)insurance claims
6) If you are getting all the details down in this preplanning, do each of them.
7) How is the `purchase` going to be paid for?
8) Do you have young ones? What will happen to them,
9) In gathering all of this information, to have handy in one place, be sure to add:
10)Here, the list of 10 things, and #10, isn`t going to be
"Take it slow."

I trust this series has been and is a kick in the pants, inspiring you to actually get out and do those things you`ve promised yourself you`d get around to, "one of these years. Copyright 2004 Betty Brown All Rights Reserved

Please also write me, a-team@stratos.net if you have further questions on this subject.

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