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Coping at Christmas

Christmas is a very difficult time. Surround yourself only with supportive and understanding people. If you feel the need to cry, step away and cry. For some mothers, Christmas is too difficult to be around other family members and children. If this is the case, or there are any doubts in your mind, do what you need to do for you.
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Peer Parenting

If you have had a miscarriage, or lost a newborn, ask the hospital if a ´peer parent´ is available to you. The ´peer parent´ will, in all probability, have experienced a loss themself, and will understand your grief, and fully understand your loss.
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Allow Others To Help

Allow those in your life to help you. Be honest about what you need. Your friends and family are experiencing the loss as well. They are also experiencing a different type of loss. They see you, a person they love and care about, hurting and in pain.
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The Strong One

Many men feel the need to be the strong one at the time of a loved one´s death. Men are often conditioned with the idea of “being brave their entire lives. We often expect men to cry at the time of death, but not much after that. We may perceive their lack of tears as them not being impacted by the death. This is not the case. Men sometimes have a harder time crying than woman because of how they were raised.
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Coping With The Anniversary

The days before the anniversary of your loved one´s death are more likely to be harder than the day of the anniversary itself; we do not really know what to expect. On the day of the anniversary, allow yourself to grieve and mourn; cry if you need to. Surround yourself with family or friends in you feel the need; busying yourself is a wonderful way to get through the day. Remembering the good times and special moments makes the day eaiser.
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Talk Openly About Your Feelings

Coping with the death of a loved one is allowing yourself to express all of your emotions, no matter how good or bad they may be. By keeping all feelings and emotions inside, it makes the loss feel more intense. Once you are able to express these feelings, you begin to heal.
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Support Group

I often hear, "My support group has been wonderful for me." We memorialize our children and spouses, speak of them with special memories, and lean on one another during our hard times. It is especially important because when a loved one dies it may feel like you are the only person this happened to. Many are able to meet wonderful people who are experiencing the same type of pain and loss they are.
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Set Traditions

To help cope with the loss of a loved one, set traditions for special holidays: decorate the gravesite for Christmas, birthday, Easter, etc. On the anniversary of the death, busy yourself with friends.
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