Welcome to Funeral Tips

Non-traditional Memorial Service

If you suffer a miscarriage, it is acceptable to have a traditional wake and memorial service. You may want to add personal effects to your child´s service; read a poem or message you may have written for the baby during pregnancy.

Tell Them What They Need to Know

Give a brief explanations and honest answers to your child's questions. Don't shield your children from death by telling them “lies” to make the subject easier. A child doesn't need to know every detail. The important thing is to honestly answer the questions they ask.

Be Straightforward

It is hard telling your family that your loved one has died. Be as straightforward as possible. Tell your immediate family first, then your other family and close friends. You can also ask someone close to you to help you call others and explain to them what happened.

Deciding To Name Your Child

Whether you miscarried had an etopic pregnancy, or stillbirth; naming your child can be an incredible healing tool. Some women need validation for their loss, and naming the child makes the baby and the loss real. Whether it has been a recent loss or a loss some time ago, you can still name your child. There aren't any rules.

Gently

Be gentle and warm when talking to your child about the loss of their sibling. Tell them it is natural to feel sad after the loss of someone special and that it is ok to cry. Create a close and loving moment for the both of you and encourage your child to talk to you if they have any questions or feelings about it.

A Special Web Site

Create a web site in memory of your loved one who has passed. If possible, place a photo of your child, spouse or others. Share your personal story, any poetry you have written, or that touches you. A great place to build a free website is at www.homestead.com, netfirms.com. Or if you wish it to be found at a larger site, you can add it to (for a fee) http://www.memoriespages.com
or other sites.

Memorial Services

Having a memorial service and burial may be a painful aspect of loss. It does however, ease that final good-bye. How you chose to do this is a personal choice, so do not allow others to change or make your mind up for you. There are many CHOICES - research for those that fit you and yours.

Children?

If you have a memorial service, whether you allow your child to attend is a personal choice. Do not let anyone make that decision for you. Children, however, need to feel included in order to feel secure. This is especially the case when it comes to a tragedy such as this. It also may help you to have your child there, keeping your family together when you need your family the most.

Be Honest

With the death of a loved one (or miscarriage), it is best to be as straightforward with children as possible. They may worry that the same thing could happen to them. Explain to them that they are safe. There are some wonderful books available to help children. Check the ´books´ links on this site.

Simply

Children tend to have short attention spans. Along with this, there is also a limit in retaining information. Use simple language that the child can easily understand when explaining death to them. Don't be afraid to use words like dead or death.

Support

At any memorial service for your deceased loved one, surround yourself with supportive people; you will need them more than ever at this time. Allow a ´private-time´ for yourself, but if you need to step away, do so. Seek out a Pastor or Priest to speak with, attend church or be around others in your after services as well.

Miscarriage Memorial Service

If you are a survivor of a miscarriage, you can still chose to have a memorial service for the baby. Contact your religious advisor about this. A suggestion would be a non-traditional service at the park: have a prayer, an acknowledgement of the baby, then plant a tree in his/her memory.

E- Mail Notification

Once your family and close friends have been notified, you can notify other friends and acquaintances through e-mail. Although it is never easy letting someone know you have lost a loved one, this method may be “easier” then calling everyone yourself and re-telling the story over and over.