Read these 6 The Grandparents Loss Tips tips to make your life smarter, better, faster and wiser. Each tip is approved by our Editors and created by expert writers so great we call them Gurus. LifeTips is the place to go when you need to know about Funeral tips and hundreds of other topics.
In the course of parenthood, we have seen our children through many hard times. Through all their lives, they have suffered hurt, tears, and heartbreak. Whether it was a toy breaking, a friendship breaking or a heart breaking as parents you can either fix it or say the right things to help fix it. In this situation, there is no quick fix. Many grandparents want to help, want to make it better, but can't. This makes them feel as if they are failing as parents.
One way to help us deal with something is to educate ourselves on it. Learn about grief. Once you do, you will be able to understand what you and your child are and will be experiencing. This will help you to help your child and will also allow you a heads up as to what is ahead and help prepare for the next step as it comes.
A Friend relates: "A year or so after my son died, I had a candid conversation with my parents on how it affected them. At the time, I was beginning to work actively with parents and grandparents recently experiencing SIDS death. My parents, and others that I have spoken to in the last four years, have said one hard thing about the loss of the child is that it makes you begin to question your own mortality. Not only is this a scary thing, but they often feel guilty for thinking of themselves and beat themselves up for being selfish."
The anniversary of death, birthday, and holidays are hard for both families. Call your child on those days or send a card or care package. Let them know you realized what day it is, how hard it is, and that you are there for them. When you speak to your child, be respectful of their feelings and how they feel they need to handle things.
Speak openly about your feelings, even if it is saying “I don't know what to say.” Talk about your good days and your bad days. Don't be afraid to speak of your grandchild or use his or her name. It helps the healing process so much to have someone you can talk to without boundaries and limitations. Speak to a friend, your child, or a church leader.
|Sheri Ann Richerson|